Bad Blogger....Bad.

Ok. Clearly I suck at this.

Day 5: No one really noticed my sign, but I did post a few around town just to fuck around. I didnt see any outrageous reactions like I would have liked to, but maybe I'll pull out again on a rainy day when I can watch the mayhem.

Day 6: Looking back, I guess I always knew I'd regret this.

Day 7: Done, though totally against my will. I was supposed to masturbate to a fantasy provided, and the one given for women sucks.

Day 8: Wow, this went horribly wrong. I was supposed to have an addiction free day. Apparently my brain decided to have all the addictions, including the one I'm giving up for a year. I drank more coffee and smoked more cigarettes in one day than I normally do in a week. I went to my favorite bar and hung out with people I haven't seen since the New Year due to my not drinking. In case you're wondering, I did a bad thing while I was there and broke my first resolution for the year. Yea, I'll be beating myself up for a while on that.

Day 9: Does getting up before 5 and doing something before breakfast count if I was still up from the night before watching 'Seinfield'? Er...probably not. I would say I'd try that again, but I don't wake up before 5 am. Hell, I don't even wake up before noon most days. I guess today I emptied the dishwasher before I ate, maybe I can use that....

Day 10 (today, for those of you wondering): Meet Jonas Day.

I feel like today would have been cooler if I could actually access the website and look over how his year went. I guess all i can is look at his picture and solemly greet him hello. Hi Jonas, I hope your travels were safe.

Small heads up, tomorrow might prove to be difficult seeing as I pretty much know/talk to everyone I encounter on a regular basis. Wish me luck.

Er...Oops. Days 5, 6 and 7.

I seem to have fallen radically behind the times. I'm pretty sure it can be blamed on only getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep for the last few nights, working, and fighting off the death cold/stomach flu combo going around the store, but that's just an excuse for being lazy. In order to catch up, I'll have to complete three tasks in one day.

Day 5: Tape an 'Out of Order' sign to something that isn't broken. Watch the mayhem.

Day 6: Write the opening novel to my debut novel.

Day 7 (today): Masturbate to the fantasy proved for your sex (and lemme tell ya, the one for us women is just plain lame and fails completely to arose any...er...excitement).

All three days are fairly easy; I'm going to find something within view of my work to post the 'Out of Order' sign on so I can document how people react to it and laugh. Loudly. I'm too sleep deprived to write a sentence I'll be proud of right now, so I'll get to that when I wake up in the morning. And today's task is already taken care of, but in case you're really worried about it, be comforted in the fact that I'm just about to have a good wank before passing out for the night; though it's not going to be over the soft core porn they've given me in the book. Seriously, a stranger by the fire on a stormy night? Booooooring.

Update later.

Day 4: In which I almost forget to post

Man, almost forgot to post today. I've been sitting here for about an hour getting sleepy and was just about to go to bed when I remembered I haven't posted my task.

Day 4: World Coloring-In Day

Today I was to color code the countries by whether or not I'd been there, if I was going there this year, if I planned on going there in my life and if I could go my life without ever setting foot there. I found that a fifth category showed itself, places I didn't give a flying fuck about. There ar emore places in the world that I don't give a shit about visiting or not visiting than places I want to visit. Anywho.

Places I've Been:
America (birthplace...kind of hard to not have been here)
Canada

Places I Going to this Year:
None. I'm landlocked for the foreseeable future.

Places I'm Going Before I Die:
Greenland, Iceland, Cuba, Peru, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Russia, China, Finland, Sweden, United Kingdom, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Guinea, Greece, Egypt, Sudan, Madagascar, India, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Ireland, Thailand, China, Japan, Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Morocco.

I'm sure there are a few I forgot, and prolly some I threw in just for the hell of it. Essentially I want to cover most of Europe and a fair amount of South America.

Places I'm Never Visiting in My Life:
Mexico (tapeworms dude. no)
Ukraine
Iraq (I hear it's bad to be an American over there sometimes)
Iran (er...read above)
Saudi Arabia
Afganistan
Pakistan
Ethiopia
South Africa
Democratic Republic of the Congo
Tanzania

And this is where I realized that I was just coloring in countries just to have to full map colored, which is basically lying. So I stopped and just left it as is.

Day 3

So after ruminating over my duel posts for one task yesterday, I think that's too many damn posts for one thing. So new rule: one post a day concerning the tasks.

Today's task is also pretty straightforward. I am to "throw away something I like". However, I think straight up throwing something away just because a book tells me to is a waste. It's taken me all day to decide what to part ways with, so I've decided to donate my longest owned set of DVD's to my work. That way my work can make some money and I complete today's task.

Another tomorrow.

Day 2: Part 2

Well, I spent the day contemplating whether or not the love of my life is already in my life, and found that area to be sorely lacking. That or I'm already so interested in Him that I don't have eyes for anyone else. On that note, He did come into see me at work and we shot the shit for an hour or so (catching up on the New Years, bullshitting about the terrible movies we've been watching) and I did get the balls to ask him out on a dinner/movie combo date. Not the most original in the world, but what the hell. We're both huge movies buffs so it works. I wanted to tell him how I feel, but I'm a big chicken shit and I don't want to put him in a position he doesn't want to be in.

All in all, an uneventful task. Another tomorrow.

Day 2: Part 1

Another day, another task. I'm writing this post before I leave my house for the day so I'll do today's task. I am to "gaze at everyone wondering whether they might be the one true love of my life" and react accordingly.

I pretty much know who I have the strongest feelings for in my life right now, but I'll take some time out of my busy life to see if anyone catches my attention. Who knows, maybe I'll just finally tell Him how I feel and get it over with.

Well, Part 2 tonight. Ill be sure to share my feelings. My counselor would be so proud.

Day One

So here's the new year. Wee. I guess this is the part of the year where everyone starts their "new life" or whatever. Well, this is the year that I'm jumping on the bandwagon and finally committing to three resolutions like everyone else in the world. The first two are just for me, no need to put that shit out on the internet for any one to read. However, I feel the need to document this social experiment for the world to read about and enjoy.

"This Book Will Change Your Life: 365 Daily Instructions for Hysterical Living"

I've had this thing sitting on my shelf for ages, who knows how long. I dimly remember buying it after seeing a friends copy and being in love with the idea of doing something that could make my life that different. But, being a the ultimate procrastinator, I never actually got around to going through the motions. Well, not this year. Last year was probably the worst year of my life and I refuse to go through another shitty year.

I've been trying to find that website for the book, but it seems to have disappeared. But in doing that research I'm realizing I'm not the first person to do this but it doesn't seem to have been done in a while.

So here it goes, Day One.

This is the "warm-up", meaning I can choose something simple from a list provided or I can open to a random page in the book and complete that days task. Seeing as the list includes stuff like holding the phone to your other ear (something I already do), deciding which of your toes is the prettiest or jaywalking, I think I'm going to go with a random page and hope for the best.

Day 251: Read Your Own Palm

It's kind of awesome that I got this one because I've been interested in palmistry my whole life.

My love line is fairly long, so I guess I'll know love.
My travel line  is very thin, but unbroken.
My fate line is shorter than my love line, so I guess my lover is going to kill me.
My heart line is pretty deep, maybe I'll become a social worker like they suggest...
My life line isnt really thick or thin.
And my Mount of Venus is fairly pronounced, but everyone that knows me pretty much know that I have a lot of sex.

Well, that was pretty easy. I dont think it's a true palm reading though, but whatev's. This for fun, right?

Well, another tomorrow.